I cannot settle on a single one.
They are lost to me under the cover of clothing
They have departed for another city.
5When everything seems to be set
to show me off as a man of intelligence,
the fool I keep concealed on my person
takes over my talk and occupies my mouth.
On other occasions, I am dozing in the midst
10of people of some distinction,
and when I summon my courageous self,
a coward completely unknown to me
swaddles my poor skeleton
in a thousand tiny reservations.
15When a stately home bursts into flames,
instead of the fireman I summon,
an arsonist bursts on the scene,
and he is I. There is nothing I can do.
What must I do to distinguish myself?
20How can I put myself together?
All the books I read
lionize dazzling hero figures,
brimming with self-assurance.
I die with envy of them;
25and, in films where bullets fly on the wind,
I am left in envy of the cowboys,
left admiring even the horses.
But when I call upon my DASHING BEING,
out comes the same OLD LAZY SELF,
30and so I never know just WHO I AM,
nor how many I am, nor WHO WE WILL BE BEING.
I would like to be able to touch a bell
and call up my real self, the truly me,
because if I really need my proper self,
35I must not allow myself to disappear.
While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I have already left.
I should like to see if the same thing happens
to other people as it does to me,
40to see if as many people are as I am,
and if they seem the same way to themselves.
When this problem has been thoroughly explored,
I am going to school myself so well in things
that, when I try to explain my problems,
45I shall speak, not of self, but of geography
De tantos hombres que soy, que somos,
no puedo encontrar a ninguno:
se me pierden bajo la ropa,
se fueron a otra ciudad.
Cuando todo está preparado
para mostrarme inteligente
el tonto que llevo escondido
se toma la palabra en mi boca.
Otras veces me duermo en medio
de la sociedad distinguida
y cuando busco en mí al valiente,
un cobarde que no conozco
corre a tomar con mi esqueleto
mil deliciosas precauciones.
Cuando arde una casa estimada
en vez del bombero que llamo
se precipita el incendiario
y ése soy yo. No tengo arreglo.
Qué debo hacer para escogerme?
Cómo puedo rehabilitarme?
Todos los libros que leo
celebran héroes refulgentes
siempre seguros de sí mismos:
me muero de envidia por ellos,
en los filmes de vientos y balas
me quedo envidiando al jinete,
me quedo admirando al caballo.
Pero cuando pido al intrépido
me sale el viejo perezoso,
y así yo no sé quién soy,
no sé cuántos soy o seremos.
Me gustaría tocar un timbre
y sacar el mí verdadero
porque si yo me necesito
no debo desaparecerme.
Mientras escribo estoy ausente
y cuando vuelvo ya he partido:
voy a ver si a las otras gentes
les pasa lo que a mí me pasa,
si son tantos como soy yo,
si se parecen a sí mismos
y cuando lo haya averiguado
voy a aprender tan bien las cosas
que para explicar mis problemas
les hablaré de geografía.http://www.nsm.buffalo.edu/~sww/poetry2/neruda_pablo.html
I like how this poem covers the issue of self-identity. I, too, believe that people have different sides of themselves that they choose to act upon at different times. Or sometimes, its not that they choose that side, but it is the side that they subconsciously revert to. There were times when on the inside, I wanted to act brave, but I felt that the words and actions that came out did not properly express those inner feelings .
Personally, I am still in the process of trying to figure out who I am (despite the many college essays that demanded me to know now), and I am wondering if you are too.
I am also having some difficulty understanding this line:
"While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I have already left." (36-37)
I feel like there are two different characters being described here: the physical Neruda "writing" and "coming back", and his true self "far away" and "already left".
Rhetorical Question: "What must I do to distinguish myself?/How can I put myself together?" (19-20)
Synecdoche: "geography" (45) is an aspect of a certain location - in this case, the location is where you are, or "where you are at each moment" (explained better here: http://happopoemouse.blogspot.com/2011/01/number-46-pablo-nerudawe-are-many.html)
Analogy: Compares finding oneself with traveling: "that, when I try to explain my problems,/I shall speak, not of self, but of geography" (44-45)
"While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I have already left." (36-37)
Comment here & help me figure out what lines 36-37 mean!
ReplyDeleteI am also a little confused by these lines. Perhaps he means that his two selves are his writing self and his regular self. When he is writing, his writing self is far away, lost in the world of the poem or novel. When this self comes back, it finds that the regular self has left as well.
ReplyDeleteJi does a wonderful job explaining what the poem is about: a man who does not yet know who he is because he has so many different "selves". He hopes to be one thing but when the words actually come out of his mouth or when he is forced to react to something, the person he thought he would be actually is not there. In response to your question, I believe the lines: "While I am writing, I am far away; and when I come back, I have already left." (36-37) do hold some significance in the poem. In knowing the poem is about a man who does not know which "side" of him he will posses at any particular moment, I believe lines 36-37 is saying that during the time he writes, he too does not know what side of him he will get: a man who does not know what he is going to feel at any particular moment. (I know my wording is probably confusing but I don't know how to write what I'm thinking to answer this question but I hope I helped!)
ReplyDeleteI agree with both Eden and Audrey about the two different selves in those lines. However, the way I interpreted was that there are the same two roles - the "writer" and the "normal self" - but when he is writing, the "writer" is in the present moment of his life, but his "normal self" is "far away". Then when his "normal self" has returned to the present, the "writer" has left. So I think that's just a reversal of how Eden saw it, but this is just my take on the poem. Also, I really like this poem, especially with all these college apps (as Ji pointed out) asking "Who are you?"
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read those lines, my thoughts were similar to Eden's- that his writing self (who is perhaps his true self) never meets up with his regular state of being. That is, I interpreted that his writing self is the moment when he is his true self, and he wishes he can call this self back up, but he cannot, and it never catches up with his regular self.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really liked this poem, and especially the thought that he wishes he could explain himself in terms of geography, because then things could have a boundary line and not be so complicated and overlapping and have a clear location in which one could find all selves. I also liked how this implies that every person has a world within themselves.
I understood this poem, to mean that the speaker never completely feels in touch with reality. Whether he is writing or trying to spend his time in the present, he has difficulty finding the connections he longs for. Even when he is writing in the present, he is only really imagining another world, he wishes he himself could be a participant in. When he returns from this dream world, each time, he hopes to find himself connected to others but instead he falls behind.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this poem several times, I still question my understanding of the speaker's ideas, and causes me to rethink how an individual, like this speaker, connects with the present. Each person, even when living in the current times, has another separate realm in which they function.
I liked this poem – it elegantly expresses an idea that is relatable to everyone but difficult for some (including me) to fully comprehend and boil down into words. Like Ji, I think the speaker is frustrated by how oftentimes he cannot be who he wants to be or knows he should be. At one point, he says, “there is nothing I can do” (18); he is only “left admiring” (27) those who appear to be their idealistic selves all the time. In lines 36 to 37, he may be saying that a certain part of himself, possibly his “proper self” (34), makes a showing when he is writing, but disappears at all other times where other selves dominate.
ReplyDeleteFrom reading over these comments, I notice that a lot people equate the speaker's "writer self" to his "personal self", but we all agree that there are two sides of the speaker present. However, I agree with Eden in that it is the speaker’s “normal self” that must catch up to its “writer self”, in contrast to what Emmy and Annie believe. That is because this poem is about the speaker searching for who he is and trying to pinpoint his true self; therefore, through writing, the speaker attempts to catch up to his “writer self”/”personal self” that is “far away”, and when he is not writing, the true self eludes him once again by “already having left”. Finding oneself becomes a lifelong journey.
ReplyDeleteI love Emmy’s last remark using the geography theme that Neruda ties into this poem to mean that everyone has a world within themselves.
Sarah also shares a differing yet interesting point of view that nobody has mentioned before about how the speaker is fluctuating between reality and his own imaginary realm of thought or dream world, which causes him to have trouble functioning in the real world.
I liked how in Ashley's interpretation, she references to other parts of the poem in connection to the chosen quote.
Not to try to beat a dead horse but the issue of identity made this poem stand out to me. The speaker really did a good job of characterizing his emotions and mindsets in a way in which I could relate to. I particularly liked the language in line 8, which says, "the fool I keep concealed on my person" touching on the insecurity which is common, to a certain degree, to everyone. In response to lines 36-37, I think it is a reference to a certain divinity that the speaker feels when he is writing poetry. I think that to him, when he is writing it is the only time when he is truly comfortable with himself and he is in communication with what seems like a higher power. When he has finished, he must return from the state he has entered and thus feels the creeping sense of insecurity. He then elaborates on this by noting that most people are not like him.
ReplyDelete